I haven’t been here in a long time. So much has happened; I’ll have to pace myself to catch up. Today’s rant is about Online Dating and the Therapist. Let me start by saying I really like my therapist; but she has convinced; at least herself; that I need a man and that will cure-all of my ills. So, it is with this thought in mind that, I have embarked into the world of online dating with my therapist leading the charge.
This is more than a little weird to me. We should be discussing my issues. My lack of motivation. The reasons why I’m still fat. How about why I always get to work late? My apartment is a mess; let’s discuss that. I hear negative feedback in my head all of the time. I am ambitious and near about lazy at the same time. Let’s not even discuss the number of pills that I am taking. Procrastination fights me for the front seat of my life almost everyday. I feel bereft and without purpose; “a wondering generality” as Zig Ziglar would say. How do I get past myself to the better parts of my life. When does this madness end! I really think we have enough to discuss sans the dating websites but what do we talk about; you got it, the dating websites.
I’ve met a few people. Not the scum of the earth but certainly not love at first sight.I’m still wondering lost and aimless but at least these people do not know that; not yet anyway. What can I say about therapy? I am not sure if I should recommend her to
someone or not. You know what I mean? Here I am paying every week for service just to be told that I need to get out and have a life. Is it really that simple? It doesn’t feel that simple and the trolling on the websites is tiresome if not depressing. Wait, I’m already depressed. This is not helping. However, I have discovered that she is better at writing to these people than I would ever be. Most of my message she dictates. A couple of times I’ve wanted to tell people, the one who wrote the message is not the one you’re talking to; let me introduce you to her. I would be pretentious and say she is living vicariously through me but she is a widow with a boyfriend. I should be looking through a window to her life, I think. The sessions are helpful in some ways but not as much as I would like. Is it time for a new therapist or is she on the right track?
In the meantime I’m still working on these websites; meeting people whom I may never see. Learning not to be so frank; scared off a few that way. Learning to enjoy life; I’m not so sure about that. I am convinced there are more chapters in this story. I’ll try to come back and relay some of them here. Stay tuned.